I’m in mid-holiday swing.
That week that bridges X-mas and New Years is so unique.
This week and last – my opportunities to practice my Merry Mama mantra: relax, into calm connection.
This is not my mantra because it comes naturally.
It’s my mantra because it’s what is missing
What I desire
What I dream of
What I work to manifest
Every. Single. Day.
Over the last four weeks.
And it’s easier to do it while I’m on a beach in Mexico (like I was last week – oh glory!)
But the mother challenge doesn’t lie in staying calm on that beach,
Or at that yoga class
Or on that solitary walk.
The mother challenge is in finding peace and staying calm
When your 5 year old is tantruming
When your babysitter cancels
When your to do list calls (or disappears!)
When your 11 year old slams the door in your face.
This is when we need the super powers.
Yet this is often when the phone booth is nowhere in sight
And so changing into our super power calm cape feels impossible.
I look back and wonder how I manage it all.
And in retrospect I see that the biggest step I made as a Mom to support myself and my super powers was a commitment to:
Mind my mind
Own my time
I needed to do this urgently because I had lost mySELF as a woman and mother.
Only a few years ago my connections with those I loved were weakening.
And how I lived on a daily basis was not aligned with what I valued.
I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown
Suffering from some major overwhelm
And down right miserable.
Yes, I was committed to being the best mother I could be…the best house manager and homemaker, the best life partner, the best professional…
But being “bests” in all these “roles” kept my mind and agenda very, very full!
So full, in fact, that I didn’t have headspace or time to enjoy
Yup, my mind was on the go from dawn to dusk.
I needed the opportunity to step out of the overwhelm
And off the hamster wheel
To see that this season of life was passing me by.
That this was it.
That it would end all too soon
And that I would have few good solid memories of it
Motivated by a desperate drive to enjoy motherhood
I worked hard to mind my mind, own my time and nourish mySELF.
And with time I developed systems and structures to support ME and many a mantra.
After 5 years of helping hundreds of mothers – I’ve realized that too many of us find ourselves completely stressed out, overwhelmed, and on the verge of burnout because we don’t care for our minds, value our time and nurture our souls.
We don’t stop to reflect on how we can live quality lives
Even though and because…
… Our Mama brains are on overdrive from dawn to dusk…
… Our bodies are tired because we are on the go-go-go all the time…
…Our hearts go unnourished because we give give give, and forget to replenish…
And at the end of the day, if we are not too exhausted to reflect for just one moment
We wish we had stopped mindfully and connected just that one time.
We wish that rather than swept the kitchen floor, we’d played tickle monster.
We wish that rather than yelled the kids out the door, we’d looked into their eyes as we slowly zipped up their jacket, or passed them that special snack.
We wish that rather than rushing that text or reading that email, we’d listened heart-mind-soul to their little story about what happened at school.
Connections that need nurturing.
Ditching overwhelm is the first step you can take to create space to be present, connect and find joy with those you love.
It does not mean stopping doing.
It does not even mean stopping busy.
What it means is clearing your mind, organizing your precious time consciously and with discernment so that what you do is aligned with your priorities
So that you can enjoy the busy
So that you can find calm in the chaos