This time of year has felt so super strange for me. Practically and physically I’m delighted that the routine is in place, the weather is cooling and that I’m able to get back into my beloved coaching groove.

But on some weird energetic level, I was experiencing a wave of grief. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Tears randomly flowed about past pain, about losses gone. And I couldn’t quite lift myself out of it.

My wise friend and teacher, Pleasance Silicki shared with us during our yoga class that what is happening in our outside world is reflected by what is going on inside (and vice versa).

And indeed…on the outside it felt like the world was falling apart – there were the Presidential debates, the days were shortening, the leaves changing, nature’s cycle preparing to die into rebirth again. It also marked the anniversary of my mother’s Buddhist day of passing from one life to the other.

In the past, I would have ignored the sadness, the pain. I would have pushed it down and kept going. But now I know better.

I listened. I slowed down. I walked in nature. I swam. I cried. I wrote.

I reached out when I needed to. And I retreated when necessary. Emotions means flowing energy. So, I gave myself the time and space to let it flow. (This is not easy with 3 kids! However, supportive friends, husband and my commitment to holding myself with care and love made it all possible.)

And this week was better. Much better.

I know that sometimes we get in the grind of go-go-going and we don’t check in with ourselves.

This is especially true in certain contexts – perhaps it’s the personal context of being a high achiever that thrives on reaching their goals. Or maybe it’s the energy around you – a buzz and external expectations to be more, do more.

Whether it comes from inside or outside, I want to invite you to STOP for a moment and just BE. Being can be scary, though. Scary, because it invites us to feel.

And feeling isn’t something that comes easy for a lot of us. This is ESPECIALLY true when it comes to those uncomfortable feelings like anger or sadness.

You see, it is likely that we were told that our feelings weren’t legitimate from a very young age.Click To Tweet

Have you ever heard?

“It’s not that bad.”
“Smile. You are so much prettier when you smile.”
“Don’t cry.”
“Don’t be sad.”

{I could go on…}

If this is the case, you were likely raised to be a “good girl” and your natural go-to when one of these feelings arises, is to ignore it and keep going.

In her book The Curse of the Good Girl, Rachel Simmons invites us to raise girls (and ourselves!) to believe in 7 emotional truths that I shared with my Circle today, and that I want to share with my broader community today.

Take a moment to really breath these in…

  • There is no right or wrong way to feel about what happens in my life or relationships.
  • In safe situations, it’s okay to tell others how I’m feeling, even if my feelings make me appear vulnerable.
  • Upset feelings are healthy and normal.
  • Good people can have bad feelings.
  • I am the only person who can say how I’m feeling.
  • It doesn’t matter whether others approve of my emotions, because they are mine.
  • Negative emotions are important and must be acknowledged.

Now, over to you. I want to hear what comes up for you when you read these.

What are you reminded of? How do they challenge you? How do they challenge your parenting style?

Then either share your thoughts on my blog, or pop on over to my Facebook page and share your reflections and FEELINGS – the good, the bad AND the ugly.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

x

Alex

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