I was walking proud.
I was feeling good.
No, really good.
It had been a no-scream, no fight morning. I’d just had a lovely time with my 7 year old boy during his class’ open house AND been stopped by a mother on the street and complimented on my blog.
Every second Thursdays parents are invited to spend time with their kids in their classrooms.
The children are so delighted to share their work. And although I often approach this opportunity as an inconvenience, I always end up appreciating the uninterrupted one-on-one time with my boy.
It was one of those Thursdays.
AND in addition to the successful open house, I had no post-morning guilt tainting my aura.
We’d gotten to school on time (sort of, last in the door…nevermind).
I’d parked legally (this is a big deal).
All my kids were appropriately dressed.
Teeth were brushed (mine included!)
And water bottles were in tow.
I had showered and blow dried my hair.
And the cherry on top: Mr. Husband Dad had prepared a delicious cappuccino for me in his beloved expresso machine, that I’d managed to poor into my transportable thermos thingee (as opposed to my usual coffee cup that spills all over my car, regularly).
I had finally purchased the replacement for my remote control key (original dropped in sewer week previous in moment of stress, while illegally parked – another story)
We’d left the house (get this…) without screaming! And (double get this…) without fights!
Mr. 7 and I had giggled together during the open house, playing math games.
There we were. Me sipping my cappuccino, flipping my blow dried hair. And he gently caressing my hand and sipping his water from his water bottle.
“He’s so sweet.”
“He’s so clever.”
“He’s drinking water.” (FINALLY!)
“I must be doing something right.”
The sun was shining and life couldn’t have gotten much better.
It was an “I’m doing ok” kind-of moment.
With my back to the school, I opened the car door in my LEGAL parking spot, carefully popped in my coffee thermos and…
my son’s water bottle (!?!).
All too good to be true.
And that familiar voice snuck in:
“…great Alex, just as he starts to finally drink water at school, you mess up and take his water bottle away. Thanks to you, he’ll be thirsty all day.” (because, hey, I was not about to walk back up that hill and give it to him…even guilt has its limits!)
“Hush”, I say to the all familiar voice.
“Never mind.” says a soft voice. “You did good.”
And with a flip of my blow dried hair and a giggle. I drove my 7 (completely walkable) blocks home.
Moral of the story:
Listening to our inner critic and holding onto its negative ‘you messed up, you aren’t doing enough” messages can easily become a dominant pattern and driving voice in our stressful lives.
Mindful awareness helps us to recognise the voice, hear it, laugh (or cry!) with it, and switch a more holistic perspective and supportive place that, in my case, recognises the existence of water fountains (-;
Awareness is the first step towards change.
And if you are keen on working with your self talk, and inviting an alternative voice that supports you to develop a calmer and more compassionate mind, please join my Calm Mom Coaching Circle.