Just looked through my website.
I had a wake up call.
My own branding just doesn’t sit right with me anymore!
The thing with the words calm and joy, is that they suggest quiet and passive and smiley.
And right now, truth be told, I’m not feeling quiet and passive and smiley.
I’m feeling like the world has turned a corner and I’ve turned a corner with it.
This ginormous A-ha! led me to rethink my personal journey.
Here it is: My journey re-thought.
In retrospect I think that when my hot headedness first started surfacing (around the time my children started tantruming and saying “no”), my passionate-speak-my-mind personality came out full throttle and a wee bit out of control.
My lack of sleep, desperate need for control, perfectionism and A-typedness influenced my reactions to life’s challenges (international moves included!), taking them up a notch (or 20), to a new level – a hot headed explosive level.
So, rather than find that middle road, I sought to swing 180 degrees and began aspiring desperately to become this play-amongst-daisies-in-a-white-sundress kind of mother.
That sweet yogic zen Mama who buys organic, does yoga and never yells at her children.
And whose children are similarly flower loving yogic creatures.
Ha, ha, ha!
Let me be honest about my journey towards the daisies…
Along the way, I learned a whole lot…
- I learned to practice emotional intelligence. I learned to feel feelings and to talk feelings – to myself, to my kids, to my man.
- I learned (and continue to learn) to manage the hot head inside of me. This involved inner child work, getting to know my own saboteurs, their triggers and how I get so pissed off about stuff that isn’t even real.
- I learned (and continue to learn) to be more conscious. More mindful. To meditate and to integrate more conscious, mindful living into my life – tasting my food, smelling the flowers, seeing the beauty in my children’s toes. (You know what I’m talking about.)
- I learned (and continue to learn) about boundaries. To define them. To honour them. To celebrate them.
- And I learned to celebrate self-care. All. The. Fucking. Time. (We’re talking regular meditation, essential oils, vitamins, pilates, physiotherapy, therapy, coaching, regular walks, hot baths, nights out with my besties, yoga retreats…the whole deal.) Guilt-free. Self. Care. Absolutely fundamental.
This is BIG WORK, I know this.
However, throughout the whole journey, I never actually visited any daisy fields, I never bought a white sundress and every once in a while, I’d yell at my kiddos. (Still happens.)
Even today I say it like it is (yes, even to my hyper sensitive 7 year old which, as you can imagine, can have very loud consequences – eeks!)
I disagree and argue with my husband (yes, in front of my kiddos).
I cry because I am scared that my biz will flop and because sometimes I fall into a this-world-is-going-to-pot kind of place (yes, in front of my kiddos).
I’d get bored after a few minutes of making daisy chains and am not great at playing with kids.
This is simply who I am.
I’m a bit more of an I-feel-everything-and-everybody-knows-it kind of gal.
An open book heart on my sleeve emotional being.
So sure, I learned all this great stuff along the way, but I never became that play-amongst-daisies-in-a-white-sundress woman.
And now that I’m facing this truth about myself, I get a bit wigged out when I see my url: calmjoyfulmom.com
Because that just isn’t me.
More importantly “calmjoyfulmom” isn’t the woman I want to be anymore.
Sure I want to be emotionally intelligent and mindful and compassionate.
But I also want to be clear in thought, confident, authentic, passionate and bold.
I want to go beyond the calm.
I want to know myself.
To trust myself.
To love myself.
And to have the clarity, consciousness and confidence to BE mySELF.
Even if that SELF isn’t calm all the time.
And I want all of this, as a mother. A woman. A wife. And a Global Citizen.
Rather than calm, the world and I need to be clear, conscious and confident. Click To Tweet
And aren’t I lucky? Because my journey to the daisy field took a turn and led my astray…straight into mySELF.
My messy stressy “calm mom” journey has not led me to the daisy field.
It has taken me beyond quiet and passive.
And it has helped me to heal and grow as a woman.
It has taken me to a place today where, having stepped into the true shape of my soul, I feel closer to my authentic self than ever before.
Only now (and only sometimes) do I find myself with the calm confidence to speak and act from a conscious place.
And yes, it was and is on-going and organic, fluid and messy journey.
But, however messy, I know it’s a journey that is worth sharing.
And so, of course, I’m going to share it!
If this resonates and you want to take share a journey with me towards clarity, consciousness and confidence then join me in my new coaching program.
It’s called In Essence Collective and it’s for mother warriors who want the emotional intelligence and mindful strategies and tips, alongside the support to be clear in thought, confident, authentic, passionate and bold.
You can learn all about it right here: http://inessencecoaching.com/collective/
Hope to see you in and beyond the calm!