Coaching Mothers to a Place of
Calm + Joyful Living
Pre-children, I traveled the world, learned 4 languages and was nicely climbing up my professional trajectory. I was a self-made woman on a mission to stay strong, accomplished and succeed.
Then, I became a Mom!
And when motherhood came, it chewed me up, swallowed me whole and then spit me out as a new unrecognisable, mad, crazy woman.
In the beginning I didn’t really think much would change, so I kept living at full velocity. And consequently, high stress became the flavour of the day.
The weight of my responsibility for young lives, my lack of freedom, my ever confused identity, my altered relationship with the man I loved, the isolation from friends and social events that had been such an active part of my life – these drove me to the brink of insanity.
It was the confusion, the exhaustion, the frustration, the resentment, the overwhelm of it all.
And the guilt of not getting it right. Oh the guilt!
Today my experience and my research, as well as the hundreds of mothers I’ve spoken with tells me that these are all feelings shared by mothers around the world.
The myth! The romantic myth that motherhood is blissful.
It did not take very long for that myth to come crashing down on my sanity and self-confidence – both as a stay-at-home Mom and as a working Mom.
When I was a stay-at-home Mom…
I questioned who I was and I regretted my financial dependence.
What of my commitment to feminism and all those working Moms out there?
I missed adults and their rational, reliable world. My brain was melting and my beautiful wardrobe gathering dust. Worst of all, I hated feeling busy all the time,
How could I feel so busy and so bored at the same time?
And constantly asking myself: “what am I you actually doing?” I yearned to feel accomplished, to have something, anything, in my realm of control.
So…I went back to work.
It would be better that way. The financial burden would lessen. My mind would be challenged. I’d have adults to talk to. I’d come home happy and fulfilled.
But here’s what actually happened… Life became a guilt-plagued balancing act. A box ticking repetitive groundhog day. Every day. Rush. Get the kids ready. Get myself ready (sort of). Drop them off. Go to work. Leave work. Pick the kids up. Get the kids down. Finish work. Drop dead for the night. Start all over again.
So as both a stay-at-home Mom and as a working Mom, I was miserable, stressed, overwhelmed and completely disconnected from myself and my family.
And so when baby #3 made his appearance he brought along with him a moment of awakening. Maternity leave with baby #3 shone a mirror on what I was missing.
My high-strung-hamster-wheel-guilt-plagued lifestyle was getting in the way of the most important moments and relationships in my life.
My reactions to life’s Mom-stress were explosive and my connections with those I loved, unhealthy.
I was missing out on life.
And my kids were missing out on me.
These were moments I would never get back.
So, I stopped.
I started to learn to stay calm and enjoy the ride.
I started to relearn motherhood.
Since then I’ve brought joy into the daily grind and created fabulous, mindful relationships with my kiddos.
And since then I’ve retrained as a professional life coach and have worked with dozens of mothers from around the world to help them do the same – find calm and joyful living.
And here’s my sweet bio…
Alex launched In Essence Coaching, LLC in 2011 after training with the International Coaching Academy to become a Certified Professional Coach. She is an active member of the International Coaching Federation, committed to upholding a high level of coaching standard.
Prior to this, Alexandra dedicated 18 years of her professional career to social change as an international development researcher and practitioner. She got her BA in Environmental Studies from Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada and her MPhil in Development Studies from the Institute of Development Studies at the University of Sussex in the U.K. She’s lived and worked in Africa, Europe, South and North America, and speaks English, French, Portuguese and Spanish.
In Essence Coaching, LLC is Alexandra’s private coaching practice dedicated to helping mothers suffering from stress, to find balance, joy and self-empowerment. She hosts a free Clear Mind | Present Mama Challenge for busy mothers suffering from overwhelm, offers on-line Calm Mom Coaching Circles to mothers everywhere, and works one-on-one with a small group of women through her Mama inJOY Mentorship Program.
Alexandra loves her coaching projects second only to her three mischievous and vivacious children and her loving (ever patient) husband who now (after three international moves!!) live, love and laugh together in Washington D.C.